Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Alexander Renneberg

You've all seen the photos of the drop dead adorable Alexander. The reason we've created a face map is so that you'll be able to navigate your way through the sea of faces.

Well that darn Alexander has gone and spoilt it. Usually it's women who confuse by changing the colour and style of their hair, Alexander has gone one better. The little blighter shaved for a cure and now I can't tell if he's Alexander or a hairless, big eared burgular!!!

Check out his story at Boy Shaved for a Cure - Right Before the Wedding

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: The Paul Giveaway (Jade Pinto)

No. I'm not giving my darling away.

It seems that I have upset the original princess (the one giving Paul away because the kids don't need him anymore) because I haven't included enough photographs of her.

So here's my beautiful daughter Jade (aka Nice Lady, as is Paul):

She doesn't look so good with her tongue hanging out does she?

But it's amazing what a bath and a bit of flea power does.

And here she is again on her wedding day, and with her husband Mark Pinto.

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: GARY COOK, M.C (Muckeruppera of Ceremonies)

Well aren't all you old boys from Mt Carmel's going to have a nice reunion. I am sure that our Master of Ceremonies, Gary Cook, has evil things planned to say about you all. He's flat out at the moment putting it all together:

We're not having any specific order, no formalised speeches and no need for microphone instructions about which table goes to eat now. Instead, Cookie is going to be a wandering Minstrel, looking for people to poke fun at. Be warned, he's very, very good at it (and I am scared).

Gary and Paul have been mates since high school days. Why Simone ever got involved with them I'll never know. She is just so lovely. Must have been the boys charm that she was blinded by.

Simone and Gary met at school, married, have stayed married and have three adorable children: Madeline, Margot and Adam. They again live in Townsville. I think the night life in Charters Towers got too much for them.

Just so you also know, anything that Gary says about me is utter rubbish, whereas anything that Gary says about Paul is, of course, gospel. Just another tip: keep your good clothes away from Simone because I believe she loves to wash and shrink silk in the washing machine.

Looking forward to seeing you again Cookie, Simone and childerbeast.

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Jim Bitomski, Camera Manic and Discerning Gentleman

Jim Bitomski is one of Paul's Kleinhard colleagues. An avid photographer, we have been able to con him into capturing the photographic evidence of any debauchery or shenanigans at our wedding. May this be a warning to you all: Any monkey business or things that will shame you WILL BE captured by either Jim or Andy and will definitely be posted onto this website.

A frustrated pro, Jim can be spotted snapping all sorts of beauties to fulfill his need of having an expensive photographic hobby. Will you check out the rare find he snapped up in the beautiful Natalia. A rare Russian bird, is she gorgeous or what?!

Jim, you asked me about flash, formal, night or wide lens wedding photography - just use the lens that will make me look like Natalia please.

So, dear wedding guests, when either Andy or Jim point the camera in your face please ensure that you have chewed food in your mouth to share on this website post the celebration. None of us will ever look as good as Natalia does so we may as well not even compete.

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Megan's Mother, Sue Bayliss

She may have a speech disability, but don't be fooled. Sue never shuts up.

Frequently seen making rude gestures at people, Sue attempts to reframe her finger behaviour as Auslan. Only, we know better.........

Sue Bayliss
aka Grandma Bayliss

Sue also uses a floral, old Grandma, walking stick. Soooooooo, I'd better not say too much lest I be wearing the damn stick as my "something used" on the wedding day.

Seriously, Sue has spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological disorder that has savagely attacked several muscle groups; her speech, balance, fine and gross motor skills are affected.

Sue keeps a blog and consciousness raises around the debilitating disability. To find out more about it, check her out at Spasmodic Dysphonia (A supportive voice for those of us who struggle with voice). Leave her a message and let her know you'll catch her at the Wedding in the Rainforest.

Rhys (Megan's son), Darren (Megan's brother), Alexander (the bestest man), Grandma Bayliss and the Groom of the moment on Christmas Day, 2006.

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Paul's Parents, Clarrie and Gilly Martin

Yep....they're going to kill me but it's the only photos we've got of them. At least they're recent (end of 2006).

Clarrie Martin

aka Clocker, Dave, Ranger, Ranger Pop and Timmy Toyota.

Gillian Martin

aka Grandma and Gilly

The baby is Sophie, Wendy's (Paul's sister) youngest child.

Wendy and Michael convientently left the country in January to go and work in the U.S.A.

We know they were just trying to get out of our wedding and deprive Grandma

of Sophie cuddles.

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Dayle and Richard

Dayle and Richard have lived with Megan on and off over the years. Megan has been involved with them since they were very little. To save confusion and because it's difficult saying, "These are Megan's ex foster children," we often just refer to them as either one of our kids or step kids. We, and they, know what we mean.

Dayle and Richard are brother and sister. Dayle is currently living with Megan and Paul and Dayle is getting saddled with more and more of the nightly cooking as the wedding approaches and Megan becomes more desperate to get jobs completed. A mean pizza ringer upper, Dayle never orders enough anchovies on Megan's vegetarian.

Photos were taken just last weekend when Richard popped in for a visit and to find out what to wear to the wedding. We told him it was a fancy dress party and he has to dress as Elvis!!!

And this photo: yes, well - Paul, you could get into trouble for trying to kiss Richard. Perhaps Paul should come to the wedding dressed as Michael Jackson??? After all, Paul did turn up to a Village People themed night at a Kleinhardt Christmas Party dressed as the village idiot (below).

Who's Who in the Wedding Zoo: Young Andy Martin

This is Andy: the baby of the Martin family (Paul's youngest brother).

Andy is a wonderful young man. A skilled iron artisan, he is making us a special wedding candelabra. Because he lives in Melbourne, we suggested that a candelabra may be too difficult to transport. But, in true stoic spirit, Andy has insisted on designing and hand crafting a candelabra of magnificence.

Onya Rock Martin - you the manboy.

Andy will also be one of two wedding in the rainforest photographers sticking a camera in your face.

And for you single gals....sorry, he's taken.